LOCAL REPORT — Introverts everywhere are hailing a local hero today. Sarah Jenkins, a graphic designer and known avoider of small talk, successfully navigated a crowded grocery store without a single person asking her “how she’s doing.”
Her secret? A t-shirt that simply read: “Eww, People.”
“It was like a forcefield,” Jenkins said. “Usually, people want to chat about the price of avocados. Today, they saw the shirt, read the warning label, and gave me a wide berth. It was glorious.”
The Psychology of “Go Away”
Psychologists note that introversion is not about shyness, but about energy preservation. As noted by Psychology Today, introverts expend energy in social situations and need solitude to recharge. Jenkins’ shirt acted as a necessary battery saver.
If you find yourself accidentally making eye contact with strangers, consider upgrading your wardrobe to include warning signs. It’s not anti-social; it’s efficient.