Contact Us

Contact The Bureau

We are currently out of the office. Forever. • “Your feedback is important to us (allegedly).”

Submit a Tip / Contact

Did your coworker heat up fish in the microwave? Did you find a typo? Do you want to advertise (please say yes)?

Email: [email protected]
(Please allow 6-8 business years for a reply).

Complaints Dept.

If you are offended by one of our articles, please write your grievance on a piece of parchment, seal it with wax, and bury it in your backyard by the light of a full moon.

Alternatively, shout it into a pillow.

Offices

Headquarters: Behind the Water Cooler
Hours: 11:00 AM – 11:15 AM (ish)
Phone: Do not call us. We are introverts.

Work With Us

Are you a writer who excels at procrastination? Can you stretch a 5-minute task into a 4-hour ordeal?

We aren’t hiring, but we respect your hustle.