DATELINE: CONFERENCE ROOM B — In a stunning display of human endurance, local marketing associate Mark Davidson has successfully survived a 90-minute all-hands meeting that contained approximately four minutes of relevant information.
Witnesses report that Davidson maintained a “listening face” for the duration of the event, despite his internal monologue screaming for release. The meeting, which could have easily been summarized in three bullet points sent via Slack, is part of a growing epidemic in corporate America.
According to a report by the Harvard Business Review, senior managers spend nearly 23 hours a week in meetings, a statistic that experts call “gross” and “why nothing gets done.”
The Uniform of Resistance
Davidson attributes his survival to his attire. “I was wearing my ‘I Survived Another Meeting That Should Have Been An Email’ shirt under my hoodie,” he told reporters. “It gave me the silent strength I needed to nod politely when Karen asked about circle-back synergy.”
Experts suggest that wearing sarcastic office humor is a healthy coping mechanism. If you or a loved one is suffering from chronic Zoom fatigue, immediate application of a funny t-shirt is recommended.