Hooked On Facts:

If you put a raisin in a fresh glass of champagne, it will rise and fall continuously.

Halle Berry’s stunt double, in the movie “Catwoman”, is a man.

An albatross can sleep while it flies!

Yahoo! was originally called ‘Jerry’s Guide to the World Wide Web’.

Pretzels were originally invented for Christian Lent.

The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs in it.

Just Joking:

Naughty Boy:

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching Little Johnny efforts for some time, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”

To which Little Johnny replies, “Now we run!”

Objection To Blonde Jokes:

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, “I hate all the blonde jokes people say.”

“Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of dumb people out there. Here I’ll prove it to you,” replies her brunette friend. So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver. “Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if I’m home,” said the brunette.

The taxi drove them, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, “See, that guy was really dumb.”

“No kidding,” replies the blonde.” There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead.”

Circle Flies:

An old farmer got pulled over by a young state trooper for speeding. The trooper, fresh on the job, decided to throw his weight around and started lecturing the farmer about his speed. He did his best to make the farmer feel uncomfortable but eventually got around to writing the ticket. As he wrote, he had to swat at several flies that were buzzing around his head.

“Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?” asked the farmer.

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and looked up. “Well yeah, if that’s what they are,” he said. “I never heard of circle flies, though.”

“Oh, they’re pretty common on farms,” said the farmer. “We call ‘em circle flies because they’re always circling around the back end of a horse.”

“I see,” said the trooper as he continued writing the ticket. All of a sudden, he stopped and looked up at the farmer. “Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?”

“Oh no, officer,” replied the farmer. “I have far too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s ass.”

“Well, that’s a good thing,” said the trooper as he resumed writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer continued. “Hard to fool them flies, though.”

Blind Date:

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”