Hooked On Facts:

Cast iron skillets used to be the leading source of iron in the American diet!

The IRS employees tax manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.

It costs about 3 cents to make a $1 bill in the United States.

There are no rental cars in Bermuda.

Deep Breathing gives you health benefits similar to aerobics.

Just Joking:

Blind Parachuting:

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog.”

“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked. “I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground” he answered.

“But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked. He quickly answered: “Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.”

Talking Dog:

A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, “I’ll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.”

Bartender: “Yeah! Sure...go ahead.”

Man: “What covers a house?”

Dog: “Roof!”

Man: “How does sandpaper feel?”

Dog: “Rough!”

Man: “Who was the greatest ball player of all time?”

Dog: “Ruth!”

Man: “Pay up. I told you he could talk.”

The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, “or is the greatest player Mantle?”

Two Roaches:

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

“I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it’s so sanitary that the whole place shines.”

“Please,” said the other roach frowning. “Not while I’m eating!”

Old Timer:

An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following: “Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it’s any good, I’ll send you a check.”

In a short time he received the following reply: “Please send check. If it’s any good, we’ll send the engine.”

Move Your Cars:

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing.”

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”