Hooked On Facts:

Pumpkin rule of thumb: the darker the shell, the longer the pumpkin lasts.

In Nepal, cow dung is used for medicinal purposes.

Brad Pitt has been smoking since the sixth grade!

Pepsi-Cola was originally called ‘Brad’s drink’.

The average 1 1/4 lb. lobster is 7 to 9 years old.

At room temperature, the average air molecule travels at the speed of a rifle bullet.

Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

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Just Joking:

Profiting From Another:

On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. “Would it be right,” he asked, “for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?”
“Absolutely not!” replied the pastor, disappointed that Frank would even ask such a question.
“In that case,” said the young man, “I wonder if you’d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July.”

Illegal Turn:

A father in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light, where it wasn’t allowed.

“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” he said.

“That’s OK, Dad,” his son replied. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”

A Husbands Prank:

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat.

The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.

She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.

When they get to the doctor’s, the man lifts his wife’s coat to show their predicament. The man asks, “Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?”

“Well, yes,” the doctor replies, “but never framed.”

New Diet:

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nodded, “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.”

“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.

“No, from all that skipping.”

Let Me Through:

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected, a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.”

The crowd made way for him.

Lying in front of the car was a donkey.