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Week 49, 2007 - The Laughable News

In The News:

Here’s A Fish That Likes Water & Land:

A tropical fish, The Mangrove Rivulus, lives in mangrove swamps across the Americas and can survive out of water for months at a time. It seeks refuge in shallow pools of water in crab burrows, coconut shells or even old beer cans in the tropical mangrove swamps of Belize, the United States and Brazil.

The fish, whose scientific name is Rivulus marmoratus, can grow as large as three inches (7.6 cm). They group together in logs hollowed out by insects and breathe air through their skin instead of their gills until they can find water again.

In lab tests, they found the fish can survive for up to 66 days out of water without eating, and their metabolism keeps functioning. Some other fish can survive briefly out of water. The walking catfish found in Southeast Asia can wriggle over land for hours at a time, while lungfish found in Australia, Africa and South America can survive out of water, but only in a dormant state.

Bear Steals Car:

Police in New Jersey say a black bear is suspected of stealing a people carrier and taking it for a spin.

Officer Dave Dehardt found the vehicle by the side of the road. The passenger window had been broken and the door panels were damaged. Police spokesman Det Sean Talt said: “He determined it was a bear because of all the bear hair inside. Apparently, the bear had also accidentally released the emergency brake and allowed the vehicle to roll away 40 or 50 feet away from the owner’s house.”

“We’ve had animals break into houses,” Det Talt said. “But this is the first time we’ve ever had an animal take the car like that.”


Hooked On Facts:

The average human body contains enough fat to make seven bars of soap.

People in parts of Western China put salt in their tea instead of sugar.

In Idaho, You may not fish on a camel’s back.

Houdini was the first man to fly a plane solo in Australia.

In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

In England, in the 1880’s, ‘Pants’ was considered a dirty word.

There have been over 7,200 acts of terrorism against the US over the last 15 years.

The average temperature at 40,000 feet above sea level is -60 F.

The state sport of Maryland is Jousting.

Kilts are not native to Scotland. They originated in France.

Brought to you by HookedOnFacts.com

Just Joking:

I Need Help:

Tommy went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I’m going crazy!”

“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears.”

“How much do you charge?”

“A hundred dollars per visit.”

“I’ll sleep on it,” said Tommy.

Six months later the doctor met Tommy on the street. “Why didn’t you ever come to see me again?” asked the psychiatrist.

“For a hundred bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars.”

“Is that so! How?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed!”

Brazillion:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”


Did You Know?

Q. What color is the sky above Mercury?
A. If you were to look at the sky from the surface of Mercury, it would appear black. This is because there is no atmosphere to spread the Sun’s light.

Q. How did the Pacific Ocean get its name?
A. Ferdinand Magellan gave the Pacific Ocean its name, which means ‘peaceful’ or ‘calm’. After battling through the fierce Cape Horn at the tip of South America, he found the Pacific Ocean unusually calm.

Q. What was special about the first colony in Australia?

A. Between 1788 and 1853, thousands of English criminals were shipped of to Australia because the English jails were too full. These criminals were the first British settlers in Australia.

Q. Which is the highest point in Africa?
A. Kibo on Mount Kilimanjaro is the highest peak. It is 5,895 metres (19,341 feet) tall. Although close to the equator, the peak is so high that it is covered with snow.

Q. Do sharks ever attack whales?
A. The cookie-cutter shark (yes, it is a real name) attaches itself to a whale and then bites out a bit of its flesh with is razor sharp teeth.

 

 
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