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Week 4, 2007 - The Laughable News

In The News:

How Big Was His Luggage?

A man was caught after he tried to make his way through Hong Kong airport with a crocodile, six snakes, 11 flying squirrels and 46 turtles and tortoises in his case.

According to the Agriculture, Fisheries and Conservation Department in Hong Kong, the unidentified man was planning to take animals from Thailand to China.

The animals - who weren't harmed - were rescued from his luggage.

More Dumb Criminals:

Three thieves who allegedly stole 14 global positioning system devices didn't get away with their crime for long. The devices led police right to their home.

Town officials said the thieves didn't even know what they had: they thought the GPS devices were cell phones, which they planned to sell.

According to Suffolk County police, the GPS devices were stolen Monday night from the Town of Babylon Public Works garage in Lindenhurst. The town immediately tapped its GPS system, and it showed that one of the devices was inside a house. Police said that when they arrived there, Kurt Husfeldt, 46, had the device in his hands.

Hooked On Facts:

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

The Saguaro Cactus, found in South-western United States does NOT grow branches until it is 75 years old.

Drivers kill more deer than hunters.

People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.

At age 18, the Queen of England was a mechanic for the British Military.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Stannous fluoride, which is the cavity fighter found in toothpaste is made from recycled tin.

Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.

A comet's tail always points away from the sun.

Brought to you by HookedOnFacts.com

Just Joking:

Sports Parents:

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

A Gift For His Mother-In-Law:

Two guys were talking at work.

"I've got a problem," said the first one.

"What is it?"

"My wife has done it to me again. I'm supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And I am fresh out of ideas. I mean it's HER mother, why can't she buy it?"

"What did you buy her last year?" the other one asked.

"Last year I bought her a VERY EXPENSIVE cemetery plot."

"Hmmmm, hard to top that one," said the other.

The two guys couldn't come up with anything. So the son-in-law didn't buy his mother-in-law anything for her birthday.

When the big day arrived the next weekend, she was a bit upset. At the family gathering for her birthday, she announced out loud to everyone, "Thank you all for the wonderful gifts. Too bad my daughter and son-in-law weren't so thoughtful!"

Thinking quickly, the son-in-law responded, "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year!"