Hooked On Facts:

Giraffes are unable to cough.

Kite flying is a professional sport in Thailand.

The average temperature at 40,000 feet above sea level is -60 F.

Take your height and divide by eight. That’s how “tall” your head is.

It’s against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.

It takes eight and a half minutes for light to get from the sun to earth.

You mostly breathe from only one nostril at a time!

The Chinese ideogram for ‘trouble’ depicts two women living under one roof.

In Tibet it is considered good manners to stick out your tongue at someone.

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Just Joking:

The Explosion:

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins.
One of the few survivors is asked to make a statement. “Okay, Phillips,” says the investigator, “you were near the scene - what happened?”

“Well, it’s like this. Old Fred Wilson was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up.”

“He was smoking in the mixing room?” the investigator said in stunned horror, “How long had he been with the company?”

“About 20 years, sir.”

“20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room! I’d have thought it would have been the last thing he’d have done.”

“It was, sir.”

Stolen Credit Card:

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

The Lecture:

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

“What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” said the officer.

“I’m going to a lecture.” the man said.

“And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?” the cop asked.

“My wife.” said the man.

Making Dad Proud:

A prominent lawyer’s son dreamed of following in his father’s footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father’s firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.

At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father’s office, and said, “Father, father! The Smith case, that you always said would go on forever -- the one you have been toiling on for ten years -- in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!”

His father frowned, and scolded his son, “I did not say that it would go on forever, son. I said that it could go on forever. When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn’t it ever occur to you that I was billing by the hour?”
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A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be?

I always say, “How to Build a Boat”.

- Steven Wright.