| Week 28, 2007 - The Laughable News |
In The News:Lake Disappears:A lake in southern Chile has mysteriously disappeared, prompting speculation the ground has simply opened up and swallowed it whole. The lake was situated in the Magallanes region in Patagonia and was fed by water, mostly from melting glaciers. It had a surface area of between 4 and 5 hectares (10-12 acres) -- about the size of 10 soccer pitches. “In March we patrolled the area and everything was normal ... we went again in May and to our surprise we found the lake had completely disappeared,” said Juan Jose Romero. “The only things left were chunks of ice on the dry lake-bed and an enormous fissure,” he told Reuters. One theory is that the area was hit by an earth tremor that opened a crack in the ground which acted like a drain. Robot Wedding:A robot recently acted as master of ceremonies at a South Korean wedding in what its creators claimed as a world first. Tiro the robot assisted at the wedding of Seok Gyeong-Jae, one of the engineers who designed it, and his bride at Daejeon, 130 kilometres (78 miles) south of Seoul. In a male voice, the robot introduced the couple to the crowd, let the couple bow to them and performed its programmed duties. What’s next? Robot Baptisms? If so, I’m sure the baby will be “Shocked!” Hooked On Facts:
The United kingdom eats more cans of baked beans than the rest of the world combined.
In ancient China, people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt. Israel’s Dead Sea is 1,312 feet below sea level. Grenades were invented in China over 1,000 years ago. The last time American Green cards were actually green was 1964. Diet Pepsi was originally called Patio Diet Cola. No matter how cold it gets, gasoline will not freeze. Apples are 25% air.
Just Joking:Keeping Tabs:It’s forty below zero one winter “night” in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, “You owe me quite a bit on your tab.” “Sorry,” says Pat, “I’m flat broke this week.” “That’s okay,” says the bartender. “I’ll just write your name and the amount you owe me right here on the wall.” “But,” says Pat, “I don’t want any of my friends to see that.” “They won’t,” says the bartender. “I’ll just hang your parka over it until it’s paid.”
The Cowboy:A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. “WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HORSE?” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. “ALRIGHT, I’M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA BEER, AND IF MY HORSE AIN’T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I’M GONNA DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON’T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!” Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled-up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.” Tatamagouche:A couple were on vacation, driving around the province of Nova Scotia. At noon, they arrived at the town of Tatamagouche. The two began to bicker about the pronunciation of the town’s name. The husband suggested that they stop for lunch and ask. At the restaurant, they placed their order. The wife asks, “Excuse me, but could you slowly pronounce the name of this place?” The employee looked surprised, but complied.
“Bur ... ger ... King” (BTW the town’s name is pronounced Tat ah mah goosh) |
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