| Week 27, 2007 - The Laughable News |
In The News:Nursing Home For Dogs:Japan will get its first nursing home for dogs with round-the-clock monitoring by doctors and a team of puppies to help aging pooches feel younger, a pet products company said Wednesday. Owners will pay 98,000 yen ($800) a month to keep their dogs at the Soladi Care Home for pets, according to a joint release by Soladi Co. and the Endo Veterinary clinic in Tochigi, eastern Japan. Veterinarians at the home will offer round-the-clock monitoring and residents will be fed specially fortified food, the release said.
The
home, which can accept 20 dogs at one time, will also employ puppies to
play with the aging dogs to help them keep fit and feel younger, the
release said. Cucumber Soda:Japanese are staying cool as a cucumber this summer with “Pepsi Ice Cucumber” - a new soda based on the crisp green gourd. The soft drink doesn’t actually have any cucumber in it - but has been artificially flavored to resemble “the refreshing taste of a fresh cucumber,” said Aya Takemoto, spokeswoman of Japan’s Pepsi distributor, Suntory Ltd. “We wanted a flavor that makes people think of keeping cool in the summer heat,” Takemoto said. “We thought the cucumber was just perfect.” Hooked On Facts:
Pearls melt in vinegar.
On average, the life span of an American dollar bill is eighteen months. A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime. Large kangaroos can cover more than 30 feet with each jump! The ‘Big Dipper’ is known as ‘The Casserole’ in France. The most productive day of the workweek is Tuesday. Mexican Jumping Beans jump because of moth larvae inside them. Parrots have 500 pounds per square inch of pressure in their beaks. Babe Ruth wore No. 3 because he batted third.
Just Joking:Good Therapy:My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. Astute Student:An agriculture student said to a farmer: “Your methods are too old-fashioned. I wouldn’t be surprised if this tree gave you less than twenty pounds of apples.” “Wouldn’t surprise me, either,” said the farmer, “this is an orange tree”. A Successful Marriage:A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement - I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And now, after 60 years of marriage, I can truthfully say that we have never needed to make a MAJOR decision.” Killed A Calf:A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. “Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “But in six years it would have been worth $900, so $900 is what I’m out.” The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. “Here,” he said, “is the check for $900. It’s post-dated six years from now
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