| Week 23, 2007 - The Laughable News |
In The News:Really Bad Public Transit :Hundreds of Indian rail passengers got more than they had bargained for when the driver of their train asked them to get out and push. It took more than half an hour to move the stalled electric train 12 feet so that it touched live overhead wires and was able to resume its journey, officials said on Wednesday.
India’s rail network carries more than 15 million people daily
-- more than the combined population of Norway and Sweden -- but
its safety record often comes in for criticism. Nominee For Worst Mother Ever :A 36-year-old German mother-of-five drove her son to a jewellery store he wanted to rob because she was afraid he may come to some harm, Bild newspaper reported Wednesday. While her 17-year-old son and his two accomplices robbed a jeweller in the eastern city of Dresden, the mother waited outside in the car. “I knew he wanted to rob the shop and I was very worried about him,” said the mother. A court sentenced the woman to three years and ten months in prison, a spokeswoman for the court said.Hooked On Facts:
It takes six months to build a Rolls Royce...and 13 hours to build
a Toyota.
More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world. 85% of movie actors earn less than $5,000 a year from acting! Hummingbirds can’t walk. Most burglaries occur during the daytime! What you find when you shave the striped fur off of a tiger? Striped skin. It takes 100 pounds of rain water to produce a single pound of food from the earth. People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport. In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die!
A mole can dig a hole 300 feet deep in one night. Just Joking:How Many Women?A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. “How do you know that?”
“Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to
do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer,
4 poorer.”
Are Dogs Welcome?A man wrote a letter to a small hotel located in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is very well behaved and well groomed. I would like to know if I would be permitted to keep him in my room with me at night.” The hotel owner sent a reply immediately, which said, “I have been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I have never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or anything else. I have never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly, nor have I ever had a dog run out on a hotel bill.Yes, indeed,” continued his reply, “your dog is most welcome at my hotel. Should your dog be willing to vouch for you, you are welcome to stay here too!” Read All About It:A newsboy was standing at the corner with a stack of newspapers, yelling, “Read all about it! Fifty people swindled! Read all about it!” Curious about it, a man walked over and bought a newspaper. After checking the front page and finding nothing, he said to the boy, “What are you talking about? I don’t see anything in here about fifty people being swindled.”
The newsboy ignored him and continued, yelling out, “Read
all about it! Fifty-one people swindled!” What Day Is It?Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home. “First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed. “I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!” |
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