| Week 22, 2007 - The Laughable News |
In The News:Unlikely Friends:A wolf captured in Albania has become best friends with a donkey. The donkey was put in the wolf’s cage as part of its feeding programme, and it befriended the donkey instead of hunting it down and eating it. The two animals have since become inseparable, living together in the cage for the last 10 days. Curious villagers and local news reporters have been flocking to see the unlikely couple for themselves. Sea Lion Antics:He has flippers instead of feet --- and certainly no sneakers or hiking boots. But that didn’t stop a sea lion from joining schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon. The marine mammal apparently noticed children doing laps one morning around a course they had set up at the Marin Country Day School next to the shores of the San Francisco Bay. The 185-pound sea lion waddled ashore, shocking students and teachers. “He did a whole lap,” said Kelly Watson, director of constituent relations and web communications at the private school.Hooked On Facts:
Until President Kennedy was killed, it wasn’t a federal crime
to assassinate the President.
Your skeleton keeps growing until you are about 35, then you start to shrink. Penguins can convert salt water into fresh water. At age 18, the Queen of England was a mechanic for the British Military. The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money. The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven. A hard working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day. Stilts were invented by French shepherds who needed a way to get around in wet marshes. The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.
Redheads require more anaesthesia to ‘go under’ than
other hair colors do. Just Joking:Counting Rabbits :One day, during math class, the teacher asked Little Johnny, “If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?” - “Seven,” replied Johnny. “No, Johnny. Listen carefully this time. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?” asked the teacher. - “Seven!” insisted Johnny. “Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples, two apples and another two apples, how many would you have?” the teacher asked. - “Six,” Johnny answered. “Good, Johnny, that’s right,” said the teacher. “Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?” - “Seven!” Johnny said. “Johnny, how on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits would be seven?” asked the baffled teacher.
“Easy. I already have one rabbit at home now!” Johnny
replied.
Priorities In Life :
A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items
in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large,
empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, approximately
two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was
full and they agreed that it was. So, he picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He again asked the students if the jar was full. They responded with a unanimous “yes”. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar - effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. As the laughter subsided, the professor said, “Now, I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the faucet. Take care of the rocks first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.” At that point, one of the students raised her hand and asked what the beer represented. Smiling, the professor replied, “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers.” |
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