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Week 19, 2007 - The Laughable News

In The News:

Lucky Woman:

A store clerk’s slip-up at the cash register has paid off big time. The clerk accidentally rang up two duplicate Powerball tickets for a customer. At the end of the day, after she was unable to sell the second ticket, Allen paid for it herself.

The next day, Allen returned to the store and found the ticket matched all five numbers - earning her a $200,000 jackpot.

When Allen went to Raleigh to claim her prize, she met the customer who purchased the original ticket. The customer also will receive a $200,000 jackpot.

“They put two and two together and ended up hugging,” said Pam Walker, a spokeswoman for the North Carolina Education Lottery. Allen hasn’t yet decided how she will spend her money.

BBQ T-Rex:

Tiny bits of protein extracted from a 68-million-year-old dinosaur bone have given scientists the first genetic proof that the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex is a distant cousin to the modern chicken.

Scientists have long suspected that birds evolved from dinosaurs based on a study of dinosaur bones, but until recently, no soft tissue had survived to confirm the link.

Hooked On Facts:

91% of us lie regularly.

A mole can dig a hole 300 feet deep in one night.

The Japanese liquor, Mam, uses venomous snakes as one of its main engredients.

In India, people are legally allowed to marry a dog!

In 1845 Boston had an ordinance banning bathing unless you had a doctor’s prescription.

More than 25% of the world’s forests are in Siberia.

Harrison Ford has a species of spider named after him!

41% of the moon is not visible from earth at any time.

Brought to you by HookedOnFacts.com

Just Joking:

What Kids Are Thinking:

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

Better To Be Safe Than. .. Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The... Bug Is Close.

It’s Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate The Power Of.. Termites.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.. How?

Don’t Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.

You Cant Teach An Old Dog New... Math.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You’ll... Stink In The Morning.

Where There’s Smoke, There is... Pollution.

Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!

A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.

Two’s Company, Three’s... The Musketeers..

Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.

When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.

Climbing The Stairs :

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.

At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. “I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!”