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Week 17, 2007 - The Laughable News

In The News:

Swan Feeds Fish:

A swan in a Chinese zoo has been feeding its fish friends every day to the amazement of visitors. The swan picks up the feed and takes it to the mouths of the waiting fish, reports Southern City Papers.

“They became close friends after three years of playing together,” say staff at Safari Park in Shenzhen City.

“Every time I come to feed the swan, all the fish follow him to the bank, with mouths open. And he takes the food and puts some into each of the hungry mouths,” says the feeder. “When everyone has eaten enough, the swan goes back onto the water and plays with his fish friends again.”

Dreamed Up Phone Number Leads To Marriage:

A British man has met and married a 22-year-old woman after, by his own account, dreaming of her phone number and then sending her a text message.

David Brown, 24, says he woke up one morning after a night out with friends with a telephone number constantly running through his head. He decided to contact it, sending a message saying “Did I meet you last night?.”

Random recipient Michelle Kitson was confused and wary at first but decided to reply and the two began exchanging messages. Eventually they met and fell in love.

“It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked,” Kitson told the Daily Mail newspaper. “My mum and dad kept saying ‘But he could be an axe murderer’, but I knew there was something special about it.”

After a long courtship, the oddly matched couple -- he’s six foot seven inches tall and she’s five foot four -- have just returned from their honeymoon in the Indian resort of Goa.

A love-struck Brown said: “I’ve no idea how I ended up with her number in my head -- it’s only a few digits different from mine.”

Hooked On Facts:

All the swans in England are property of the Queen.

Lenny Kravitz’s mother played the part of ‘Helen’ on ‘The Jeffersons’.

People in parts of Western China put salt in their tea instead of sugar.

Frozen lobsters can come back to life when thawed!

The Zip Code 12345 is assigned to General Electric in Schenectady, New York.

Brought to you by HookedOnFacts.com

Just Joking:

Speeding Ticket:

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.

“Keep it,” the cop said. “When you collect four of them you get a bicycle.”

Where Is The Money?

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were ‘protecting’. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job--if he were to get caught, he wouldn’t be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.

Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can’t communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.

The mafia hood says to the interpreter, “Ask him where da money is.”

The interpreter signs, “Where’s the money?”

The deaf replies, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The interpreter tells the hood, “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

The hood pulls out a .38 pistol and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. “NOW ask him where da money is.”

The interpreter signs, “Where is the money?”

The deaf man signs, “The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate.”

The interpreter says to the hood, “He says he still doesn’t know what you’re talking about and doesn’t think you have the guts to pull the trigger!”