Hooked On Facts:

Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can’t find any food.

Flamingos pee on their legs to cool themselves off.

In the next seven days, 800 Americans will be injured by their jewelry.

Pageant Models often smear Vaseline on their teeth so their lips won’t stick when smiling.

Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

The venom of a small scorpion is much more toxic than the venom of a large scorpion.

Instead of a birthday cake, many children in Russia are given a birthday pie.

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Just Joking:

New Management :

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?” Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $200.00 a week.”

The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay,now GET OUT!”

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks “ Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

Magician's Boat :

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem - the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show, “Look, it’s not the same hat.”

“Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.”

“Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”

The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; after all, it WAS the captain’s parrot. One stormy day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean... of course, the parrot was adrift on this same very piece of wood with him.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... then another ... and then another. After almost three days the parrot finally says, “OK, I give up. Where the heck is the boat?”

The Silent Treatment:

A man and his wife were having some problems and giving each other the silent treatment. The man realized that he’d need his wife to wake him the next morning at 5:00 a.m, for an early flight to Chicago.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 a.m.”

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, “It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up.”