| Week 10, 2007 - The Laughable News |
In The News:Reading Brings Wealth:Rhiannon Barnes may be the luckiest 15-month-old ever. Or maybe her baby sitter is the fortunate one. While playing with a thrift store book bought earlier in the day for 25 cents, Rhiannon uncovered $1,300 in cash stuck between the pages. Her baby sitter Sheila Laughridge said she only bought the book at Rhiannon's insistence and was surprised when the toddler found a brown paper bag full of $100s, $50s, $20s and $10s. Laughridge took the money, which dated as far back as the 1960s, to a local bank, where she received only $300 in exchange because most of the bills were in pieces. The rest of the tattered money was sent to the U.S. treasury department. Think Your Heating Bill Is High?Perhaps his $24 billion electric bill will teach Richard Redden not to leave the heat running. "I know they raised the rates on kilowatt hours a little bit," Redden said. "I guess we shouldn't have run the heater quite so much this month." Thanks to a printing error, Redden and more than 1,300 Weatherford utility customers this week received billion-dollar electric bills marked as late notices. Weatherford Electric spokeswoman Pam Pearson said customers can expect their correct bills later this month. She said the company's records were correct and showed the right balances. Hooked On Facts:A species of earthworm in Australia grows up to 10 feet in length. Real diamonds can be made from peanut butter! A hardboiled egg will spin. An uncooked or softboiled egg will not. It is illegal to purchase or consume Jack Daniel's Whiskey in the town in which it is produced! Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. Male hospital patients fall out of bed twice as often as female hospital patients. An apple, potato, and onion all taste the same if you eat them with your nose plugged.
Just Joking:Enjoy Every Moment :I went to the store the other day and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said "Come on, buddy, how about giving me a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked jerk. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him an overweight ape. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes; the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important. Guess Which One :A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Mom, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Mom. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." Stunned, the young man says, "That's amazing, Mom. You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her," she says. Did You Make A Mistake ?A lawyer died, and at the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven together. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes. Then, they get to see where they're going to live. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18-room mansion with servants and a swimming pool. At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a kosher TV dinner, but the lawyer receives a five-course meal including caviar, prime rib and chocolate truffles. By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything." The angel replied, "No mistake, sir. We've had lots of Popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had."
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